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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Real Funny Definitions

Funny though real definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.



Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Father:
A banker provided by nature.


Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death


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