Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Real Funny Definitions
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Tears:
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Jim Carrey - Karate Instructor ( cOmedy )
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Party Crashers
She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers.
Then her husband got an idea....
He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.
Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?" about twenty five people stood up.
The He smiled and said---"Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".
Friday, January 18, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Still women loves man
Men are like computers – hard to figure out and never have enough memory Still Women likes man
Men are like coolers – load them with beer and you can take them anywhere Still Women likes man
Men are like chocolate bars – sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips Still Women likes man
Men are like coffee – the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night Still Women likes man
Men are like horoscopes – they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong Still Women likes man
Men are like cement – after getting laid they take a long time to get hard Still Women likes man
Men are like laxatives – they irritate the shit out of you Still Women likes man
Men are like parking spots – the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped Still Women likes man
A man is like a snowstorm – you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last Still Women likes man
What should you give a man who has everything? – A woman to show him how to work it Still Women likes man
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? – Breasts don't have eyes. Still Women likes man